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After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
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Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
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Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
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Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
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You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
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I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
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Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
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I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
A hen is only an egg痴 way of making another egg.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
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Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
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Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
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I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
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最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:26
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